Ten Keys to Improving Self-Confidence

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Ten Keys to Improving Self-Confidence

First, let's define what it means to trust yourself. Many people confuse self-esteem with confidence, but they are not the same. Self-esteem is related to the concept you have about yourself. It derives from the Latin "estimar", that is, how much do you love yourself? But having confidence refers to what English speakers know as "trust". To trust means to close your eyes and flow with life.

A self-confident person is capable of taking risks, accepting new challenges, and facing unknown situations. When you trust in yourself, you put problems into perspective, you worry, but you go through that worry, anguish, or fear and stop thinking that this problem is enormous and terrible from which you will never be free and simply see it as a complex and difficult situation in life, from which you will recover and move forward.

10 keys for more security and self-confidence

A self-confident person has less fear than others and dares challenges that others dismiss out of fear of failure. And he almost always discovers that nothing is as difficult as it seems.

However, trusting yourself is not as easy as simply proposing to you. Although it is directly related to the experiences you have lived, it also depends on your way of interpreting them.

1. Respect your negative emotions

We all feel more or less confident according to the vital moment we are experiencing. Example: If you are congratulated for the good work you did it will make you feel more confident than if your work is disapproved.

Constantly trusting yourself is impossible. Even the most confident people have moments of weakness. Getting used to respecting your negative emotions and down moments and being aware that nothing happens because they are there from time to time is essential.

2. Remember your achievements

Much of the lack of self-confidence is due to our innate tendency to criticize ourselves for our failures and belittle our achievements. This often results in the impostor syndrome, a psychological perception by which people are unable to recognize their achievements and attribute them to luck or coincidence and convince themselves that they are a fraud and do not deserve the successes they have achieved.

To get out of this syndrome, draw up a list of five achievements you have made in your life, whether in the work, academic or personal field, and identify the skills you needed to achieve them.

4. Avoid defining yourself with limiting labels

When something goes wrong, try to identify your thought from that moment, perhaps your internal dialogue is negative. Example: You drop a glass of water, what do you say? Instead of saying, replace it with a positive reflection "I'm tired" or "it's normal to fail, I'm human".

5. Find your values and be guided by them

We are so used to following the criteria of our parents, friends, or teachers that we soon forget what our own values are. If you don't know them, it will be difficult for you to be congruent in your life and that will generate many internal doubts. Being consistent will reinforce your confidence, for them, you must feel that you act according to your values and way of seeing the world.

6. Make decisions, no matter how small

Practice here is very important. For example, you can practice making small everyday decisions, like choosing the movie you will watch at the movies with your partner or friends. And then progressively move on to more important examples such as choosing one career or another and communicating this to your parents.

7. Break your mental chains

Often, it is our own mental chains that prevent us from acting when we have sufficient resources to do so. Look at your beliefs and see if they are limiting what you want to achieve and if they are, change them. If you don't know how to seek professional help.

8. Put yourself in other people's shoes

Try to catch up once in someone else's place. Example: that co-worker you see every day when you arrive at the office. Do you think everything in his life is going well, or is it possible that yesterday he had an argument with a relative that ruined his afternoon? How will he feel? How will he have resolved it? We all go through common situations, what makes us different is the way we deal with it.

9. Learn to say no

Few things can increase your confidence more than respecting yourself and your desires, but to be assertive it is not enough to believe it and go out on the street shouting "It's time for me to start saying no!

When you meet someone who doesn't empathize with you and puts you against the wall asking for a favor, there are two tools that can give you very good results. The first is the broken record technique. It is about repeating the times that your reason is needed without giving any more explanation, for example, "it is late and I want to go home because tomorrow I am getting up early". The other is the technique of the personal norm. It consists of explaining that you have a rule, a policy that prevents you from doing what you are being asked to do. "I'm sorry, I have a personal policy about not leaving money with friends.

In this way, you will ensure that the other person does not feel personally rejected, and if he or she feels that way it is no longer your issue to resolve. You only own what you think and feel, being assertive is the best option even if the other person refuses to understand.

10. Don't forget you're going to fail

No one succeeds without failing again and again, and this is a rule for everyone. Failure is one more stage on the way to achieving your goals.

Increasing one's self-confidence is fundamental in order to move forward with optimism in the face of life's obstacles and then manage to be a resilient person.

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