Factors to consider before you say 'I do'


A lot of fears and doubts can appear before making the decision to go through the altar, one of the most important in most people's lives

Factors to consider before you say 'I do'

nerves, emotion, and above all, an enormous illusion. The 'yes, I do' is one of the most important decisions in the lives of the vast majority of people. Regardless of the time of relationship, when the time of the big day approaches, there can be many doubts and fears that assail us. Will it be the right person? Will it be forever? Do I really know him? Should we wait? To address all of these questions, which can be a real headache, Psychology Doctor Theresa E. DiDonato has explained, in a column in the publication Psychology Today, the five factors we should consider before taking the leap and walking down the aisle.

Do you perceive marriage as restarting the relationship?

Getting married will not radically change the state of health of a relationship, no matter how magical the ceremony. Many couples rely on marriage as a 'tool' to change some aspects of the relationship and hope to magically transform a toxic and unstable relationship into a healthy and stable one. This is the reason why, according to the psychologist, some marriages experience a feeling of dissatisfaction during the first years. 

Do you know several facets of each other?

Another problem that can arise is that, despite thinking that we know the person with whom we have decided to share our life perfectly, he or she shows aspects unknown until now behind the "I do". What will he or she be like as a father? What importance does he or she give to money? Knowing more about our partner at this time could prevent some of the most common conflicts and disappointments that arise in the future.

How 'so' happy do you think you are?  

The idea of achieving happiness follows us throughout our lives. However, the future expectation of satisfaction translates into the current commitment of a relationship. If we want our marriage to work, we must lay a solid foundation and be happy right now, not wait for the future. "Don't rule out making a personal evaluation of future happiness, since it is tied to underlying processes that are taking place right now and that will later affect the well-being of the relationship," reflects the expert.

Do you expect things to be different after marriage?

Before committing, it is necessary to study the day-to-day of the relationship. In assuming the commitment of marriage, new experiences, and conflicts arise for which the couple must be prepared. "The increases in disillusionment differentiate couples who stay together from those who fall apart," says Theresa E. DiDonato.

Do you want to test your relationship by living together first?

Sharing a home is not only one of the big steps in any relationship, it is also one of the most decisive. Today, the vast majority of couples make the decision to live together before committing. However, this step is not always taken for the same reason. While some do it to test the relationship or for practical reasons, others do it to spend more time together and predict how happy they will be if they finally say 'I do'.