Why is it so difficult to talk about sex?


Sex is an important aspect of people's lives. We are surrounded by elements that constantly remind us of it: commercials, music, series, movies, magazines... However, contrary to what one might think, talking about sex is still very complicated for most of us.

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Despite all the social progress that has taken place in recent decades, sex has a certain air of taboo. Whether it's with our spouse

We may feel very uncomfortable talking about this topic with other people, our friends or family, or opening up to other people and talking about it.

The simplest explanation for this phenomenon is that very often when we talk about sex, we share very intimate aspects of our being. Yet these elements are still censored or embarrassing to society. And this, as we might expect, generates reluctance.

Reasons why we find it hard to talk about sex

We will now look at the main reasons why talking about this subject with others is so difficult.

The goal is to be able to talk more openly about sex when you really want to. Here are some of these reasons:

Being afraid to be different

For many people, the main reason why it is difficult to talk about sex is that they maintain irrational ideas about themselves. The most common reason is that they think that if they express their feelings about sex, others will judge or reject them.

This idea is based on the myth that there is only one correct way to experience sexuality; due to certain social pressures, we believe that we must maintain sexual relations in a concrete, socially imposed way.

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The majority of us have already felt, more than once, that we are different from others on certain points concerning sex. Even if some people engage in less usual practices, no act that involves consensual sex between two adults should be seen as negative.

So the first thing to do to talk about sex in a comfortable way is to accept what makes us different. In general, if we are able to open up, we will feel more liberated and satisfied. We will have been able to express our thoughts and feelings.

We have a hard time talking about sex because we're afraid of rejection

This is one of the biggest barriers to talking about sex with our partners: maintaining relationships with another person can make us feel very vulnerable. Usually, we are afraid of being rejected when we find ourselves in a sexual situation.

This fear can prevent us from telling our partner what we like or want to do. The problem is obvious: if we don't tell the other person what we want or like, it's almost impossible for us to end up satisfied with the sexual relationship.

So if we want to fully enjoy sex, we're going to have to learn to open up to the person with whom we're going to have a relationship. The best way to do this is to talk sincerely about our tastes, preferences, and expectations.

In addition, the level of vulnerability that the sexual situation implies can be very embarrassing for some people. In this regard, and as practical advice, it is possible to move forward gradually in the process that leads to sexual contact.

We can, for example, start by expressing a desire that we have not yet revealed to our spouse but which is not very difficult to share. This way, if we perceive a positive reaction, we will cultivate the necessary confidence to express ourselves more and more.

Talking about sex with the other person can be a way to generate more trust between members of the couple. This openness to the sexual theme would, therefore, have a dual function.

Believing that it should not be necessary to talk about it

Finally, some people consider that talking about sex is useless. This irrational belief leads us to believe that we should all know, innately, what pleases our spouse. Therefore, we believe that asking him what he likes can be taken as a clue that we are not up to the task.

This way of thinking is as harmful as it is wrong. The reality is that sexual pleasure is very complex and that each person is a world. It is therefore impossible to know in advance what pleases each individual.

Therefore, communicating with our spouse is essential to take full advantage of these relationships. Only in this way can we know what the other person wants and hopes for. It must, of course, be a mutual effort. Of course, we cannot know the person's tastes without asking, and the person should not have to guess ours.

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So until you are able to talk openly about sex with your partner, you will both find it difficult to feel completely comfortable sexually. Each of you will maintain a false belief in the other, which will cause you to act out of balance.

Now that you know the negative points of not expressing yourself freely and not sharing your sexual doubts and concerns, we invite you to free yourself from your complexes. Don't be afraid to share with others what you feel and think about sex.