How to improve self-esteem?

The way I communicate with myself is a key factor in improving my self-esteem. If my internal dialogue is based on constant self-criticism, my self-esteem will suffer. Let's think, if I dedicate myself to criticizing someone with phrases like "you can't do it", "you're no good", "you're worthless"... how will that person feel? How am I going to feel?


  • At all times and in all circumstances, you must never lack self-esteem.
  • The relationship between low self-esteem and self-sabotage
  • Pride, the self-esteem trap.
Improving self-esteem is something we could all strive for. As we grow up, we build our identity and strengthen our concept of ourselves. This process of self-knowledge and personal growth becomes essential to establishing healthier relationships with the world around us and with ourselves.

Self-esteem is closely associated with the concept of self. The concept of self refers to people's beliefs about themselves. Self-esteem would be the emotional echo of the concept of self. How do we feel about the image we see of ourselves. Thus, self-concept and self-esteem are related concepts that feed off each other.

What happens when self-esteem and self-concept are so low that they affect our lives? Specifically, what can we do to improve self-esteem? Below, we briefly explain some ways to improve it in case it deteriorates.

teenage self-confidence

Improve self-esteem by taking care of yourself

The way you take care of yourself is both a consequence and a foundation of your self-esteem. We are able to apply it to others: by taking good care of others, we can help them feel better. We also follow this maxim, even if we sometimes forget it.

As a result, you may begin to improve your self-esteem by making more realistic judgments about your achievements or your actual responsibility for certain mistakes or unmet goals. It is also important to keep the following questions in mind. What do I want? What do I need? How can I dedicate myself?

Identify your strengths

To improve your self-esteem, you need to build on your strengths. Let's not forget that all of us have in our profile bases or peaks of ability on which we can improve, and much, our performance.

Achievements can give you clues about these strengths. What are my strengths and achievements? What good things do I have in me? Look for honest answers, or you won't be able to find them.

Change your internal dialogue to strengthen self-esteem

The way you communicate with yourself is a major and important factor in improving self-esteem. If your inner dialogue with yourself is based on constant negative criticism, self-censorship, or punishment, self-esteem will be among the first to pay the consequences.

Let's think about this. If I criticize someone with phrases like "you can't do it"... ... "you're useless," "you're worthless," "you're worthless," ... how is that person going to feel? It's the same if we say those words to ourselves, we become our own worst enemy.

In a way, internal dialogue is irrational, interpreting any situation in the worst possible way. Even when the evidence to support the conclusion is very weak. In the face of these negative thoughts, it's important:

  • Identify them: what does my inner dialogue look like? What emotions does it provoke in me? Is everything I tell myself really real or irrational?
  • Implement strategies that undermine your power
One way to start introducing changes in internal communication could be to ask questions such as: what would you tell a friend? What words of encouragement and motivation would you say to someone you love? Use these answers to promote more positive inner language.

low self esteem

Accept and forgive yourself

Sometimes we all have difficulty accepting certain parts of ourselves, how we feel, and how we are. The resistance that can damage our self-esteem. By not forgiving and accepting ourselves, we can sponsor our own psychological torturer: guilt, which always places us at a lower level.

In this sense, Kristin Neff, in her study on self-esteem at the University of Texas, says that if you are able to treat yourself with more kindness and self-compassion, you may increase your self-esteem in a healthier way.

Therefore, if you want to improve your self-esteem, you must forgive and accept that you are human and that you make mistakes, and you have nothing to complain about.

Try to treat each other with the same affection and respect as you would treat someone you love, by being supportive and understanding, rather than constantly criticizing and judging you. Stop blaming yourself every time you make a mistake.

In conclusion, one barrier to improving self-esteem is setting high goals that are difficult to achieve. They only generate frustration, while serving, of course, to maintain a negative view of self.

It is therefore important to combine different goals in our planner. Of course, these can be challenges that help us grow. But also small goals with which we can provide reinforcement in case there is a vein in which the big goals are resistant.